Twilight Mega Spoof
by Monkeycat3181
Summary: the Utimate Twilight Saga Spoof Story. Very funny!


twilight spoof 4 banana time tv

*SCEEN 1*

Sam: ok everyone i got a brilitent idea! were all gana kill the cullens and bella for no reason once so ever!

*everyone cheers*

embrey: yea! sam ur the best!

quil: motherfucker ur awesome!

jacob: dude no hes not

*starts to sing*

quil: dude dont lie

jarded: hes awsome!

jacob: he probally drives around in his moms ride.

paul: hes awesome!

jacob: proally talks to himslef on his facebook wall.

seth: but hes awesome!

jacob; a quater of his life gone by and he`s only been with 2 girls what the fuck is up with that.

embry: but hes awsome

jacob: dude no hes not.

quil: dude dont lie

all the wolf pack execpt jacob: hes awsome! hes awesome! hes awesome! hes awesome!

jaocb: ahhhhh! you guys are all fucking crazy!

*sceen 2*

jacob: Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that.

rosaile: THATS IT! someday is today dog!

*ding ding*

*in conors of the backyard*

*renesmee comes out*

renesmee: whats going on?

emment: aunt rosaslise and jacob are gana finally fighting to the death. YES! I LOVE IT!

renesmee: Well i don't, i`m telling my mom

emment: no don't! come on do you know how long I `ev been waiting for this! i`ev been waiting for this to happen all year. go rose!

renesmee: i`m still telling my mom!

emment: fuck! *mutters to self* little brat

jasper; in this coner we have the rich snub of the past, the brat attack, the dumb blonde, the super stupid blonde who...

rosalise: who wrote this intro!

*we see jacob giveing cards with names on it*

Rosalie: I am going to fucking destroy you!

Jacob: in your dreams!

Jasper: and in this conor the hotty of the wolf pack, the big bad wolf, the awesome one, the mega hot mega stroung...ok theses fight names suck...i quit good bye everyone hope you two dont kill eatch other. good bye!

Jacob: hey i think those were awesome names!

emment: fight!

*jacob goes into wolf form*

*they fight*

* then rosalie breaks a nail*

rasaile: I BROKE A NAILLLLLLLL!

*wolf dose that confused dog tited thing*

rosalie: OH MY GOD I GOT FIX IT LIKE RIGHT NOW!

*runs in house*

*renesmee and bella come out side*

bella: what is going on out here?

emment: well bella isnt it oveious we were just praticeing for our nxt battle with the votire.

*bella pauses*

*then slaps emment*

bella: now who whats to tell me what is really going on?

*jacob walks up to bella*

jacob:bella i`m ur friend and as a friend i feel the best way to keep a friend ship stroug is buy telling the truth, even when it may hurt...it was all edwards idea.

*scene 3*

jacob; bella, dont get me upset.

bella: y?

jacob: you don't need to know. just dont get me upset.

bella: but i like geting you upset...its fun!

jacob: dont

bella: but you know me and edward are ganna get married and have like 500 hundred kids and were all gana live in a little cottage in the woods it`s gana be far away from la push on our own pravite island. oh and me and edward are going to do it on a...

jacob: ahhh!

*turns into wolf and attacks bella*

*Sceen 4*

mike`s mom: hey can you take out those fliers out for me?

bella: sure

*stares at the fliers*

mike: are you ok?

bella: theres a wolf on here! theres a god damn wolf on here!

bella: i gatta go vist jacob. theres a wolf on this flier!

*mike and his mom give bella a WTF face*

*sceen 5*

*Everyones like really tenes*

edward: he was in her room,alice. he could have still been there, waiting for her.

alice: i would have seen that.

edward: really! you sure!

alice: you already got me watching the voltirs decsions, victorias return, watching bellas every step. you want to add another? edward,if I try to do too much, things are going to start slipping through the cracks.

edward: it looks like they already are.

bella: stop it edward *crying* ur being mean!

* edward take a deep breath*

edward: ok lets look at this logically. what are the possibleitys?

*everyone relexs*

jasper: see i think...

edward: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU BETTER FIND OUT WHO WENT INTO MY GIRLFRIENDS ROOM, AND IF ITS THAT FRICKEN WAREWOLF SOMEHOW. I`LL RIP HIS FRICKEN HEAD OFF! * starts foaming at the mouth and twictches like a sazz*

* edward STARTS SINGING CALIFANA GIRLS*

*charlise gets a tranculizer and shots edward with it*

*edward falls to the ground*

esme: carlise!

carlise: it had to be done.

*we then see jacob in the window*

jacob: *singing* bing bong bing the vampires dead! oh yes oh yes the sparkle bitch is finally deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead!

*runs home very happy*

bella: should i tell him hes only temperally put out.

charlise: no let him have his fun.

*then you hear jacob say "yes hes dead! hes finally dead! thank you god!"*

*sceen 6*

* edward is watching bella sleep*

*bella wakes up and turns on the light*

bella: ahhhhhhhhh! what the hell are you doing in here!

edward: watching you sleep

bella: y?

edward: cause i`m a stocker *he says with a smile*

bella: i`m calling my dad

*gets out of bed and runs to the door*

edward: wait cant you just let me rape you first, i didnt get to that while u were sleeping.

*scene 7*

bella: *narrating* he stared at me silently througth narrowed eyes.

*edward does that*

bella: switserland

bella: *natrating* i repeated

edward: alaska

bella: *narrating* he repeated

edward: ok lets filp a coin who ever wins gets to chose where we move

bella: i call heads!

edward: ha landed on tails were moving to alaska! ALASKA!

bella: darn.

*sceen 8*

bella: And so the lamb fell in love with the loin.

edward: * laughs* What a stupid lamb.

bella: What a sick, masochistic lion!

edward: yeah but i`m king of the forest

bella: well i`m i`m...

seth: sexy!

bella: what the hell i dont even know you yet.


End file.
